Hi guys! It’s been a hot minute since I last posted, but I recently got a message from a sweet friend asking for advice on how I’ve handled a long distance relationship. I thought it would be a great way to open up a bit more to all of you by posting it on my blog, because I usually stray from getting too personal, and I’m trying to get to where I share more “behind the scenes” from time to time. I decided to share some of my go-to long distance tips that have worked for Seth and me, and will hopefully help for any of you who need some ideas 🙂
- Face Time. Face Time, Skype, you name it! Make it a point to actually SEE each other as much as you can. It makes you feel just a bit closer, and gives a feeling of togetherness. I love being able to see expressions, smiles, and be able to do stupid dance moves on the regular just to make Seth laugh. Hey, it works sometimes! 😉
- Communicate. Seth and I have gotten so comfortable with each other that we can be on Skype or on the phone and go for a bit without speaking. Just tonight I was writing some thank you cards and he was busy with something and we just both got lost in our own little worlds. I’m not saying this is bad, we call it “hanging out” and sometimes call each other when we are busy just to “hang out” and have each others company while doing whatever it is we’re up to. So it actually works in our favor many times, but we also know how important it is to initiate conversations and put other things on hold and take more time for each other.
- Plan Ahead. Never stop making plans! Long distance is no piece of cake, but constantly making the next plan to see each other in person gives you something to hold on to + look forward to. We are not perfect, but Seth and I try to see each other at least once a month, if not more. Whether you’re going to him, he’s coming to you, or y’all are meeting in between, always make plans and carve out time to see each other. Together is the best place to be!
- Send Mail. Okay, I’m preaching to myself too, because I don’t do this near as often as I should, but sending a sweet card is always a great way to show someone you care. I have seen how Seth keeps the cards I have sent him, and I do the same. Something about receiving anything handwritten in the mail feels so good. Write about what they mean to you, and draw hearts (okay fine, I’m too mushy)!
- Strong Foundation. Every Sunday, Seth and I try to watch a sermon online together. We are both looking forward to when we’re married (hurry up, June!), and can attend Church together regularly, but I think it is so important to start doing this, even if you are not able to physically go to church together. With distance, there is a lot of time to work on yourself individually as well as discuss and challenge each other to keep pushing toward God and building your relationship dynamic on Him. Doing this, and listening to sermons, has helped us grow together, move forward, and keep focused on the important things.
- Trust. Trust is something that is essential in any relationship, but absolutely vital if you want a long distance relationship to last and flourish. Distance and being separated can hurt a relationship big time if you don’t trust the one you’re with. I never have to question who Seth is hanging out with or where Seth has been because I trust him fully and know his heart. Building trust and not jumping to silly conclusions is something to always strive for when it comes to distance and making it work.
- Don’t Plan. I am a planner, big time. I love schedules, organization, and checklists, and I always make sure to get a new planner notebook at the beginning of each year #nerdalert 😉 But when it comes to my long distance relationship with Seth, I am the complete opposite! I don’t like the thought of “planning” or “scheduling” time to Skype or call him. I think that if a relationship is real, and feelings are true, wanting to be together will be a constant thing, and you both will never have to question when you will talk next because it will be natural to want to call and spend time together daily. If things feel forced, you may need to step back and evaluate if you are both on the same page to avoid any misunderstandings or heartache.
- Have Fun. One thing Seth and I love to do is watch tv shows or movies together. It’s like our version of a long distance date night. We both have Netflix, so we set up our Skype call and then pick a movie together. It’s a great way to enjoy something and feel like we’re together. We have also downloaded game apps to play together and with our friends, like Apples to Apples, and I’ve also seen Scrabble and Uno apps too- I’m sure there are so many fun ones! And don’t even get me started on when we listen to music together. We once dedicated a majority of our Skype call to some great high school throwbacks, and it was so fun seeing what songs we both knew or didn’t really ever listen to- a really fun way to get to know more about each other!
- Start Traditions. Who says you have to be in the same place to start your own traditions? I try to send a sweet text to Seth every night so he has something encouraging to wake up to every morning. Whether it’s a paragraph or a few sentences, I try to express to him just how much I appreciate and love him, and how completely happy and content I feel with him in my life. I am definitely the more mushy of the two of us (lol!), but I know he looks forward to them and it reminds him that I’m thinking of him.
- Talk Future. There is nothing more wonderful than being on the same page as each other. You will know that this is a serious thing if both of you are comfortable talking about a future together. If the one you’re with is hesitant, then they are more than likely not even ready to be in a long distance relationship. Wait until both of you are ready to commit to a more serious relationship, or go your separate ways to find someone who wants the same things you’re looking for.
I hope that this has helped anyone who is in a long distance relationship or even considering one. It can be challenging sometimes, but is so worth it if you are with the right person. Don’t let distance be what is holding you back, because it may just be the best relationship you ever have, and could even lead to a proposal on the beach one day- hey, ya never know! 😉